Well hello peepz... been some time yeah, but heck, I never find much to talk about anyway. =). Kinda been outta touch with lotsa people, cause I'm either too lazy, or too guy-ish; I never find the time, even though I have lots usually.

Exams are just around the corner... tomorrow actually. =), hopefully this final exams won't be too bad. Cheerz anyway~

Heyyy... Gar, that's not very nice. =P, I hate rumour starters, so don't make me hate you dear. I'm Eileen's grampiez, and let's just leave it at that yeah? =), come on, how many guys do YOU know say "I love you" to their dearest friends? =P

To Eileen: *blushes as well* Well dear, I actually meant each and every word I typed there. =), it's kinda rare any guy could possibly say such a thing to anyone, but yeah, it's there all rite... ^_^. Since you consider my bullying me, I also consider this feeling as how this ol' grampiez here feels about his granddaughter... ^_^. For some reason, it's what I've always felt for any one of my closer friends, though I never did say it... rather not leave it hanging around before something *might* (choi!) happen to me. =). Cheerz dear~!

The more bitter aspects of life have been circulating in my head, ever spinning their lies and truths on what life can really be... I dunno, it's just one of those nights...

Some people really irritate me... a little, alot, so much I could despise them... it doesn't really matter... point is, people are like that, and I am just the person who does not approve on what might be normal behaviour and attitude in someone... I guess people will be people sometimes... most times, actually...

It is to my greatest discontent that I find my closer friends have such insanely irritating quirks and sometimes even personalities that meet my utmost DISapproval... I dunno... people will be people... people can change yes, but people can ALSO stay the same...

What's up with bragging... or lying, for that matter, since both can be considered one. Do we do it to just puff up our importance, thinking it fun? Or is it just our human in us? Hm... can't say anything to that. I've practiced that art countless times I admit...

What's wrong with pictures too...? I dunno... I can't say that pictures are *my* life... but they ARE stilled MEMORIES of life... except perhaps for pictures of scenery... even then there is art in that... because of all the time I used just thinking (it wasn't very well spent, but I am frivolous), I've found that pictures are just... good. I dunno... pictures remind me so much of what life used to be, or how my friends used to look like... or best yet, the good times I had at that particular event/occasion/person... past that, I could always say pictures bring me great content, just because they're pictures of people I know... automatically I can remember a few good times I had... it's always been like that for some reason. Maybe now you know why I like taking pictures of you now Eileen, though my mind is irrational at times...

Melanchony is the mood tonight... ahah, I guess my brain is just addled with wine... it's brought out what I really think of things...

Love... yes, the exhausted topic that everyone knows but not many actually have, deep in their hearts, so deep that words would not be needed to show it... it's all in the eyes, I think... ahahahahh... love is extremely strange... for some people, they just look for looks... for others, usually those who don't look heart-stoppingly beautiful, they take time to be noticed... I dunno, I've had that feeling a time or two... hahah... I'm not telling though. ^_^... but then again, there is the kind of feeling one gets upon seeing someone.. that could be love at first sight, I think so... I've had that ONCE, and ONLY once... ever since that time four years ago, I'm still hooked on to that ONE person... fortunately or otherwise... ahahah... have YOU ever done that?

But then again, there is that THIRD kind of love: the love of the people closest to you... those that have laughed and suffered through life with you... people like your bestest friends... your family.. your girl/boyfriend.. I dunno, anyone... I can say that I love many people in this instance... people like Eileen, the best and most loving granddaughter I have ever had.. no matter what she says of herself, no matter how much she may hate my bullying ways, I will still love her as my granddaughter, and as my friend... speaking of friends, I could also say I love Wey Ping... best friends for four years, and still going strong! =)... we've had our laughs, and our differences, but friends forgive and accept the quirks and ways of others... what are friends for eh. I will say that I love my family... since they've been with me longest... all my life, heheh... they've shown me the ways of life, and how to live them... that kinda thing I guess... they've forgiven the insane amount of wrongs I've done, and they usually don't remember them forever... hehe... family is cool...

Anyway, I think that's enough for now... ^_^ may all your lives be peaceful, joyous, and long..

-- Leon
21st September, 2003

To Gar/Eileen: Well, yeah, with more knowledge comes more grief I guess... it has something to do with knowing more of the terrible world you live in, and the fact that no one person could have an easy time fixing the wrongs of the world as a whole. As our knowledge of things increases, so does our knowledge in the bad things that always happen... the best example would be us... as in all the people of the world. Ever remember your childhood? Remember what it was like to be almost eternally happy and ignorant of things happening in the world? As children we didn't really have a lot of knowledge, so we enjoyed life as it come, day by day... now, we know much more, so we are mature (in a sense. Some people will never grow up. ;)) and now we think so much about life right now, life in the past, and life in our future.

And no, it's not asking you NOT to study, from what I directly see from the quote (no, I don't believe in religion. And no, don't flame me for that. =P).

"...with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." Ecclesiastes 1:18

Well, it just says if you have much wisdom, comes much sorrow. It didn't say AFTER that line "So people should not seek wisdom". And yes, the Bible SHOULD be profound. Why do you think that sooooo many people all around the world have taken up Christianity as a religion? =), and the religion was born more than two millenia ago (2000 years), so I wouldn't be surprised that not a few people would have thought up something like that. All one needs is time... and a lot of it.

To Eileen: Yes, we are all waiting anxiously here in Malaysia for your timely return to your home land. May your trip be safe, dull maybe, but definately interesting. ^_^.

Well, 1.6m? Hmm... sleep more, eat more. That's what I say. Sleeping's good. At least 8 hours a day or you'll never grow right. It's true you know. Flat tummy huh? Exercise, exercise, exercise. If you don't have the patience for that, play more sports! A 30 minute game of basketball or soccer a day would be excellent. Stop procastinating? Well this one's easy. Just don't. Do everything today. One day. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. It may seem impossible, but that's only because you're lazy. =P, believe me, I know. I'm a professional procrastinating-do-it-the-last-minute kinda fellow... Study one hour a day? Refer to above. Be more useful. See above. ^_^ Cheerz dear.

To Mandy: Soweee~! I haven't had the inspiration to write anything about that topic you gave me...! =P. Either that or I'm turning so so so so SO lazy. -_o

Phew! That was alot. Came back from school, and the weekends are here~! This is excellent. MmMmmMm... weekends. ^_^

I'm hommeeee~!!!!

I'm back from camping in a friends house... overnighted for 3 nights... ^_^ back now, and liking it, since I can go online again! Yayyyyyy~!!

Thanks and blushes from me to everyone who thinks my poems are really nice... =).

Hmm... can't think of much to say -_-". So I'll just say bye bye~!

Dear me Eileen, I would do that if I knew how. I'm such a backwards kinda guy... old fashioned and such. Maybe someday you'll teach me how? ^_^, anyway, going to a party tomorrow! Han Xian's Bday party... at his new home! Wooo..! Pool table, pool pool... 6 coms... yowza~

Unfortunately, my camera has run out of batteries, so now I just have to sit there and not snap photos of my friends on one of those yearly kinda events... damn! That is SO not me...! >_
Oh well, hopefully someone else would have brought a camera... or somethin.

May no one get the wrong impression from all these writings I have posted... they're mostly about someone else... someone I have liked for a looooong long time... =)...

You looked so nice today,
In that dress, beautiful, I must say,
You looked much more mature,
Maybe that's what you'll be like in the future.

I guess you wouldn't notice a guy like me,
Simple, loud, and very much a weirdo you see,
Try as I might, I always fumble good deeds,
I doubt I could ever fill your needs.

You're pretty, you're cool, you're all around great,
There's nothing left there for me to debate,
I wish I could be with you, for all of eternity,
I suppose that's the price of reaching puberty.

Ruefully I watch, from a distance,
Long have I known I have no resistance,
To you, the one, the person I know and care for,
You're the key to my heart's door.

I know this is silly,
I know this, really,
But still I go on like a fool,
Ever stumbling about to look cool.

Maybe I'll see you again, on some cold night,
And forever keep you safe in my sight,
But I know right now, that everything's fine,
And wonder whether someday, someday, you'll be mine.

--Leon
2nd of November, 2002.

As I get older,
As I make this rhyme,
I think I still like her,
After all this time.

Kinda hard to believe,
Thinking hard about it,
This is a dream I'd like to re-live,
Ever since the day we did meet.

Someday, perhaps, I still cling to my hope,
But for now, I'll just have to cope,
Even after 4 years I still can't forget,
Her smile, her laugh, her every fret.

No one pity me, no one should try,
As the days go on by and by,
I sorta chose this way, a bad one at that,
But I guess I've just gotta live with that fact.

--Leon
23rd of April, 2003

Ah yes... here's a new one... I think? ^_^

I sit here, almost falling into sleep,
Wishing that it was you I could keep,
Because there you are, tucked in and dreaming,
Those unconscious thoughts one has when sleeping.

I can't imagine in what, or how many ways,
I've just come to like you through all these days,
Maybe it's your laugh, maybe your smile,
Maybe your charming wits, or your cunning guile.

There are times when I wonder how life would be greater,
Then I found out from the grin you gave me later,
Whatever it is, you're wonderful to me,
That's why I'd do much for you, whatever it may be.

And I drift off now, to whatever land dreams reside in,
And my last thought I remember, was where have you been?
But I also remember that you're right in front of me,
So I drop off again, with you as the last thing I see.

--Leon
June, 2003.

Eileen: *laughs innocently* Well now Eileen, I *am* your grampiez and all, so yeah, I'll be expecting lots and lots of piccies of your social! ^_^, just for a taste and a view on your life in Aussie dear, with all your friends. Heheh, even YOU are bringing a camera... but then again, I don't really trust you with taking pictures... -_-, you always seem to 'not be there'. ^_^.

Mm... well, here's another one of my poems, since all of you think they're really good... though I have my own misgivings. -_-", enjoy though~

I'm so depressed, very sad you see,
As the world turns worse, as worse as it could be,
I guess I'm just getting old and senile these days,
But I really don't know now whether optimism pays.

Sometimes I wonder, what am I ever gonna be?
Some sweeper, a doctor, many choices you see,
But I always don't know, cause I don't have an aim,
Since I never know what I do, be it for riches or for fame.

I know most people don't have this kinda trouble,
It seems I have all the bad luck, make that double,
I have some luck, I know that's true,
But I always wondered where'd that luck go to...

There were times when I thought of ending my life,
Putting a stop to all that sorrow and stife,
But then I think of all the friends that I know,
Family and people that would grieve if I were to go.

So I get myself together, and put on a brave face,
To win this never ending insane rat race,
Hopefully I'll make it out, alive and very much sane,
Or I could die once, and let my life wane...

Now there's this girl I like, I really like her alot,
And most times I'm happy since she's more cheery than not,
The times when I'm not are when I see her concerned or sad,
It usually means that something happened and it's really bad.

I know she'll do fine in her studies and such,
But I'm the type who worries so very much,
The pain sometimes is a hard thing to take,
But I guess there's a smile I could always fake.

In the end, the troubles are only in my mind,
Where all restrictions and limits are that anyone could find,
So now I put my troubled mind to sleep,
And hope that that sleep is really quite deep...

--Leon
23rd of January 2003

Too many bad things have happened these days,
I just wish we could go back a little ways,
To the times we were without a care in the world,
To the times we were happy, when we could lie peacefully in a blanket, curled.

I guess time is a really mean thing,
Going round and round like a neverending ring,
Getting old is very painful, very saddening sometimes,
There are so many thoughts swirling in my head and in my rhymes.

There is much sadness as friendships are lost,
I wonder whether this is getting old's great cost,
If it is, I'd rather like being young and naive again,
Just so that I could forever forget this pain.

I know people change, that friends can be forgotten,
But why oh why do their stays have to shorten?
My heart aches for those good old days in school,
When everyone was optimistic, and where happiness may rule.

I don't know why life should be so hard,
It seems like I always pick Death on a tarot card,
I know it's silly, being so negative and stuff,
But I never really knew life would be this tough.

It's been such a trial to go through life some days,
But I do, I do, through many many ways,
I suppose I was shielded all my life from things like these,
But I do hope that things will turn out better, oh pretty pretty please...?

--Leon
27th of January, 2003

I kinda like to agree,
That having a relationship is nice to a degree,
It gives you a warm feeling on the inside,
As your loved one smiles wide.

As her head rests on your shoulder,
You try your best to hold her,
You don't know how to explain it, I guess no one ever could,
But you know you'd lay your life down for her, yes you would.

For yourself, you've got a partner,
One who's like no other,
It's nice, I guess, to care and be cared for,
To have someone to cover in a downpour.

The joy of knowing that your significant other is happy,
It's certainly a feeling like no other, and it certainly isn't crappy,
To know you love each other, to have someone to hold,
Is a great attribute towards humanity, to one who is bold.

So give a damn, care for someone,
Give them hope, and hope for nothing in return,
Maybe hope will come to you someday, when you have none,
And your little spark of spirit, will once more burn.

--Leon
5th of November, 2002

=P~ oh come on, I can't possibly be that good dear. -_-". ^_^, anyway it is kinda nice to know that some things I write are cool. =).

Oooookaaayyy... I think I'll post more. ^_^~!

As I stare of into the cold, hard night,
I see in the distance, a tiny light,
Shining brightly, flickering slightly,
Seemingly shimmering, maybe glimmering.

I think of a girl, in a place far away from here,
The girl at home, whom I hold very dear,
She must be sleeping peacefully,
So I think, ever ponderously.

To think, she was once a little girl,
Look at the woman she's become!
She's entering a new world,
And dear god, may she be welcome.

Ah, those were the days, when I was still idealistic,
Ever good, always obedient, and very energetic,
I could go on and on, never resting, never tiring,
But now? Now I find all that unreal, boring.

That was the time when she was the little girl I've come to love,
The ones that always stick to you no matter how hard you shove,
I guess she was kind of sweet,
Sometimes kids are just impossible to beat.

I smile ruefully at those times,
Wondering where my old friends went,
As I crazily make these rhymes,
I wonder what happened to all those letters I sent.

In the end, I pass away,
I will, someday,
It's inevitable, it'll always be there,
But I hope it's a sadness only I have to bear.

--Leon
2nd November, 2002