Her:
I think I still like her,
For who she is and who she will be,
Though my feelings are a blur,
I still hope she'll like me for me.

I suppose I am not that lame,
And she just likes someone else,
But my brain still jumps at her name,
No matter what I think about.

I'm an old fool, I know,
A senile, unsmiling rock in some ways,
But no matter where in life I go,
I'll remember these crazy, heart-turning days.

Perhaps she isn't the one for me,
And these feelings are just an old crush unwilling to die,
But still, there is not many as beautiful as she,
So ever shall I keep my feelings for her, by and by.

- Leon
28th of June, 2003

You:
If I ever see you again,
I'll know my life hasn't ended,
If I ever feel your pain,
I'll try to make it so it's mended.

If I can dream about you, through the night I sleep,
I know tomorrow I'll wake up feeling happy and rested,
If I can feel my love for you, though very deep,
I know throughout my life, girl, you can never be bested.

- Leon
Same date as above.

On Friends:
I wish all my friends were here,
New, old, the best of the best,
Those people that I hold dear,
Whose words can put my mind to rest.

That kinda can't happen though,
'Cause we're all pretty far apart,
Where they are, I might not know,
But they're at least here, in my heart.

These days, I forget to keep in touch,
So I'm usually not in the flow,
But the friendship I feel is still very much,
For as long as they have names I know.

So here I sit, old and waiting,
For my friends to get together,
As life goes on, merciful yet unforgiving,
I hope that their lives will be for the better.

-Leon
28th of July, 2003.

Past that poem, I don't think I have much else to say about my week. I never do. =P, sad but true. Oh well.

Short holidays! School starts on Tuesday, so one last day to sleep till 12! Yay, pigs rock. Lol. ^_^

Hmm.. oh yeh! Japanese students visiting our school starting Tues! Hmmm O_O. Exchange students. Hmmm.. not long term tho. -_-" Oh well.

Ciouz peepz!

The rain beat upon the ground,
The thunder that accompanied the only sound,
Behind a window, a girl could be seen,
Dressed in black, a mere sixteen.

No one else was tehre in that old creaky house,
Except for insects and perhaps a mouse,
But water was near, and firewood plentiful,
Perhaps this was God's way to show he was merciful.

She loathed God however, and never believed in him,
No one had cared for her, no love at all,
And because of this, around her she built a wall,
So time passed as always, making her more grim.

So she sat there thinking,
Staring, unblinking,
Unbidden, thoughts flowed,
As the soft lamp-light glowed.

She thought about much,
Of life and such,
But she always thought more,
Of death before.

'No one would cause any more pain and suffering to me,
And I hate everyone, no matter how nice they seem to be,
There's no truth in life, only lies spun by bastards and bitches,
I have been fooled for long enough by these evil witches.'

So this was a day when a life would end,
And she'd make sure this death no one could mend,
So she thought and thought, finding a way,
To end this wasted life, on this rain-filled day.

Her past was harsh; her present a nightmare,
Perhaps this is the reason why she didn't care,
She hated her backstabbing friends, her non-existant family,
The sorrow filled life she lived, all but a tragedy.

There she sat, almost drowning in thought,
But from that time spent, a great plan she wrought,
A painless death, no need to be messy,
She didn't see the need to be dressy.

In that lonesome house, found she a box,
Though it was sealed she had broken through the locks,
And inside she saw a beautiful dagger,
Certainly no belonging of some streetside begger.

Somehow it seemed almost surreal how it was there,
She just found the box as it one day, came out of nowhere,
Being curious, she opened it at last,
And there sat her means of freedom from the past.

Sitting in the bathtub, having nary a regret,
This would be the place and time; it was set,
She sliced her wrists then, causing the blood to flow,
And seemingly dimmer did the lamplight glow.

The water took away the life that was in her,
And soon her vision became but a blur,
As time passed more, she grew weaker and weaker,
But she was determined; she would not grow meeker.

It would end soon, that was for sure,
Her real life ended years ago, as it were,
So now was the end of a lie,
Because she would soon... die.

A girl in a bathtub, one with no name,
Letting her life go, ah, a shame,
But the decision was hers, this lonely child,
And for the first time for many, many years, she smiled.

-- Leon
15th of October, 2003
To Mandy.

I am home people~!!!

Was in Langkawi since Thursday night, came home Sunday night... all in all a good trip. There isn't really much to say about Langkawi I guess, just that the stuff there really is much more cheaper than in the other areas because stuff like alcohol is tax free... speaking of alcohol, I got drunk and blacked out from one night's worth of drinking. That is one experience I will not be repeating, as I did lotsa stupid things that I wasn't even aware of... lots of stupid things... =/

Anyway, tomorrow, or today really, school's probably gonna be filled with class partieeeeeeezzz~~!!!! ^_^, piccie opportunities! =). Speaking of piccies, yes I took lotsa piccies of Langkawi dear granddaughter. ^_^.

Ciouz deariez~!

*yawns* Fuhhh... long time no post eh? ^_^ Haven't had much to talk about.. never ever had that kinda thing in awhile. I dunno, I just can't seem to find anything to talk about. I'm a boring old man. =P.

Anyway, was really engrossed in this anime series "Hellsing". It's a really really really cool anime, love it so much. ^_^ It's all about an agency - Hellsing, appropriately - that works to destroy undead b**tards and b**ches. Their motto is "In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished to eternal damnation. Amen." I dunno, but that alone seems good enough for me to get interested in the anime. To all you Christian worshippers, I don't think you should get this if you're not open minded. -_-"

Anyway, the anime portrays the agency's work and troubles. Hellsing has a few main characters I think... Alucard, a vampire in the service of the current leader of Hellsing. Celes Victoria, Alucard's companion, and Intergral Hellsing, the lady in charge of Hellsing. The show is really quite cool all in all, and it's not just about killing the undead... there's that subtle drama that I oh-so-love. ^_^ A good watch if you ever find the anime. Double DVD when I watched it... 13 "orders", or episodes. The music ROCKS too... and Alucard is just soooooo stylish even though the fashion looks old. Kekeke~!

So, exam results are coming slowly, and almost everyone has stopped studies... after finals kinda mood ya kno. Lotsa school trips going on... going to Langkawi on Thurs till Sun... hmm... oh well, that about it I guess. ^_^, till next time, ja ne~!

Booo~

The last of the final exams here now! Accounts... 3 hours for that one exam... hmm... daam... well, I guess I'll try the best now. =), wish me luck ya~?

Maybe at night I'll be going to a friend's house for his birthday party... Gadafi's, with Marcus. Jon is probably coming along too. =), see you peepz online past midnight~! Another one of those PMR things... no need to sleep liao. Kakakaka~!

Ciouz~

Keke~ tomorrow the exams will continue, but I don't really mind... strange mind I have.

Kinda bored, so I'll try that thing Eileen and her pet sis did... ^_^

Name- Leon.

Birthday- 12 January 1987.

Piercings- Nopez.

Tattoos- Nope.

Hair color- Brownish black I think? -_-"

Length- Oh, it varies to what kinda style I like.

Siblings- Mm... a chubby yet cute and funny brother named Jon, and a soon-to-be great heart wrenching sister Eeva. Cool eh?

Pets- Um... none that are really in my care... I have 3 dogs and lots of Koi fishies tho~!

Clothing- What I like to wear or what? I like to wear whatever that suits the occasion, and whatever I like I guess. ^_^

Nice smile or nice eyes- Mm... people say I have nice eyes! ^_^, but I dunno? =), you tell me deariez~

Jeans or skirts- -_-" That decision is painfully obvious. And NO I do NOT wear skirts!

Boots or sneakers- o_O, do the boots look cool? Are they comfortable and stylish? -_-" You'd have to show me both sneaker and boot to see if I wanna wear 'em.

Natural or make up- I don't use makeup! ^_^

Restaurants or fast food- Both. I can't seem to decide whether I prefer good, wholesome food or fast, addictive food. Oh well!

Italian or Chinese food- Both! I love pizza and pasta. I also love the spices and good ol' thousand-ways-to-cook chinese stuff! =)

Dark or light eyes- Somewhere in between maybe?

Streaked or dyed hair- Neither, though my mom has asked me whether I wanna do either one. ^_^

Vampires or gods- I know a vampire named Marcus... and no, I don't believe in either one tho.

Shakespeare or greek mythology- They seem interesting... haven't really read up on Shakespeare in detail tho. Greek mythology seems more interesting.

Milk shakes or floats- Both damit! Milk shakes are creamy, and tasty, while floats give that fizzy feeling to a solid ice cream. Yum yum. It does depend on what food I'm eating tho. ^_^

Drugs or cigarettes- Bleh, if medicine is categorized as drugs, yup. If not, neither.

Football or cheerleading- Mm... football I guess, if I were to choose between the two. I'd rather be hanging out or something tho. ^_^

Cake or pie-cake- I like cake. Cake is cool. What is pie-cake?

Do you want to die- I don't want to die no... not suicide die or LOOKOUTITSAGRENADEBANG die... maybe at a ripe old age of 80 or 90... natural causes and such, with all my friends around me... =)

Cremated or buried- I dunno... I wanna be remembered. =)

Do you brush your teeth- Well duhhhh...

How much time do you take to dress up- I dunno.. could take from a minute to an hour... yes an hour. I can't decide on what to wear!

Do you like your life- I guess it's okay... I'd like to do more, but I'm just so self-centered and lazy that I try very hard but get to nowhere. Oh well, maybe next time.

Common or original- I think it depends on the situation.. if not, then original~

How often do you smile- I smile when I think about certain things, when I look at my friends playing around, when I'm playing around, when I'm talking alot... I smile alot, but not all the time, and not nearly enough. I've been nicknamed 'Stone'!

Many times a week do you eat junk food- As many times as there are chances to eat junk food. I eat it whenever it comes around, in other words.

Sing- o_O, I'm a baaaad bad singer... you don't wanna hear me sing.

Dance- Dancing would make me sprain my back. Kakakaka~

Laugh a lot- Mostly when I'm in a game... it's very funny, with friends especially. But normally... sometimes, yeh. But then again... 'stone'.

Like spicy food- Spicy food is okay for SOME foods... not all!

Prefer bagels over yogurt- I think bagels sound pretty yummy... mm... chocolate bagels maybe... mmmm... or cinammon... MmmMmMmMMMmMmmMm... ^_^

Think babies are cute- Babies are always cute as long as they don't cry, crap, or scream. =)

Children in general- They're okay I guess... but they are just so darn irritating sometimes.

Believe in fortune cookies- They're cool... interesting insights into my life. ^_^

Believe life after love- That's the best life to live. Unless the love you're talking about is ended love... then yeah, there's still life, just not so... right.

Believe that anything is possible- Mmm... I dunno, I guess. ^_^

Believe that everyone has a purpose in life- Mm... yeah, I think everyone has a purpose in life.

Know what your purpose is- Mm... I dunno... I haven't bothered to look. Someone tell me yeh?

You a girl- Hmm... I dunno... no piercings, prefer football, likes fashion yet not so fashion concerned, has a voice that could make windows shake... hmm... you tell me.

You a comedian- I try to be, yet I am not, but everyone just laughs anyway, so I laugh too, and then they laugh, and then... well, you get the point. ^_^ I can be funny without doing anything sometimes... 'stone'.

Your true friends in your opinion- Of course there are true friends! There are always true friends... mine are people like Teoh Wei, Wey Ping. ^_^, always there, always funny, always cracking stupid jokes, and always forgiving. I wish I was like them. I am sometimes, but they are ALL the time... -_-" Oh well? ^_^

You bored?- Hmm... exams tomorrow... 12 in the morning... mmm... not bored at all really. ^_^ I am almost never bored. When I'm bored, I count how many times the fan spins. Isn't that fun? ^_^ I think it's fun.

Your usual outfit- I dunno. Usual in what sense? In my house, or going out? In my house, I just pick whatever I feel like wearing. Outside, that depends... with guys, baggy stuff and weird fashion items. With girls, a bit more fashion concious yeh, but I still wanna feel comfortable~!

Your eyes- Dark brown, or just brown, as some people say.

What you like to change bout yourself- Umm... grow to about 1.9 meters... be less stubborn... be more caring... be more thoughtful... be more like the guy I used to be... that about it yeh.

Hate too much of a strong word- *shrugs* I swear alot. Just not alot around galz yeh?

Food from other cultures good- If it's good, and I think it's good, and I eat alot of it, so many times, DUH.

Your mood calm at the moment- Mm... Yeap! ^_^

Movie you rented – Either the cinema, or my mom buys/borrows them.

Movie you bought- Refer to above

Station you listened to- Hitz.fm, "Di Wu Tai", Mix.fm, My.fm... pretty diverse, but I hate tuning that darn dial!

Song that was stuck in your head- Mm... can't think of one, but when it's stuck in my head, it's stuck for an hour or 3.

Song you’ve downloaded- I don't remember, there's been so many. Streamyx rocks.

Last cd you got- Uhhh... borrowed a Good Charlotte CD from Atif... that about it I guess? And Jay Chou if you wanted a bought CD. Original too!

Cd u listened too- Good Charlotte.. the Young and The Hopeless album methinks.

Person you've called- I don't remember... oh yeah Wey Ping~! (one of my best friends!)

Person that called you- Wey Ping again~

Tv show you’ve watched- Mm... Legally Blonde 2 (again!)

Person you were thinking of- I dunno... quite a few. =)

You have a bf- Thankfully, I'm not gay. ^_^

You hab a crush on- Well... it's a long one. 4 years. =)

You wish you could live sumwhere else- I want to live in a place where ALL my friends live in. ^_^

You think about suicide- Yeap... but just about it, not about actually commiting suicide... not recently anyway. =), the thoughts of my little granddaughter and my friends keeps me going... and my family of course...

You believe in online dating- As long as both parties are sincere.

Others find you attractive- Well I donno... some people say I look good, others say I look hot... keke... I'm still waitin' for someone to tell me that face to face so my face can go all red. =P

You want more tattoos- Tattoos... that depends on what shape it is. I don't want them tho... they look kinda cool I guess?

You do drugs- Medicine... you know, Panadol when I have a headache and stuff... medicine is a drug, didn't you know that?

You smoke- Nahhhhh... smoking is lousy. Waste of money and it kills you slowly too! Bad bad bad.

You like cleaning- I like cleaning when I'm in one of those "CLEAN THE ENTIRE HOUSE" frenzy's... happens infrequently, so no worriez.

You like roller coasters- Roller coasters scare me.. but I like riding in them all the same... no flying around like madmen tho.

You write in cursive or print- Cursive when I'm feeling imaginative and bored... I usually draw the words in big fat letter thingies...

You carry a donor card- Eh.. I don't think my country has that?

Are you against:
long distance relationships- Well, it's not very romantic is it?

using someone- It depends on how you use that someone...

suicide- Well, it's for people who can't cope with life... but I'm sure those problems would and could be solved in a better way.. waste of life. Don't ANY of you commit suicide ya hear!?

Killing people- That depends... I haven't hated anyone so much that I'd want to kill him/her...

Teenage smoking- Gah, it's bad. Plain bad. Bad bad bad! =P, it's only bad cause it kills slowly. And costs alot when you're hooked. Bad.

Doing drugs- Medicine = Drugs, don't you get it?! Illegal drugs, now that's something I'm against.

Drinking- Hmm.. drinking's cool.. but not too much... fine wine and strong alchohol is good for certain occasions... hate all out booze parties tho...

Driving drunk- If you drive at 10 km/h then it's okay I guess. Any idiot that gets knocked down by a car that's going 10km/h is another drunk idiot. ^_^.

Soap operas- Soap operas? What? Operas that feature soap? What's fun in THAT? o_O, people are weird.

Gum- Gum... hmm... gum... I dunno? I just chew it.

Tv show- Anything that seems interesting... even cartoons. Especially cartoons... cartoons rock... anime rock more... but cartoons still rock...!

Best Thing in the world- Being hugged and returning the favour. Keeping piccies of memories so good you'd cry if you lost the piccies. =)

Thing to collect- Piccies, money, memories, piccies, lots of friends, piccies, more friends, and piccies.

Colors of all time- Eh... I dunno? I'd pick... orange, or blue.. or just something calming yet bright. I'd like to see that colour.

Thing to do on a rainy day-
1. Read beside the window while drinking tea (any would do, but Jap green is cool.. so's chinese with chinese food. Yum.)
2. Staying stranded in some place with someone special... =).
3. Play football (soccer) (hey, it's fun you know.)
4. Sing and dance in the rain.
5. Just stand by the balcony letting the cool air blow about you.
6. Uncork a good wine (if it's a long storm), get those oh-so-yummy breadsticks and garlic bread and pizza and... some other yummy foods out, and enjoy with friend/family/yourself. =) Absolutely nice!
7. Sleep in a nice snug bed, all warm and cozy. Fireplace recommended for those cold, cold places.
8. Get in a car, drive out to some open space, and just sit there with the engines off, radio/CD playing soft songs.
9. Get a friend over if possible, and start talking. A lot.
10. Sit cross-legged at a window on a very comfortable chair, and just watch the storm blow down... =)

Feeling in the world- Greed, selfishness, and stupidity. Take ol' Bush for example, the idiot.

Food- Well cooked, and extremely tasty. With lots of variety.

Song- Ah, lots.

Thing to do- Have a close relationship, get married, be successful in life, think more... that kinda thing.

Thing to talk about- I just can't seem to find much to talk about. -_-"

Sports- Any kind of sport is interesting... I don't really like baseball and cricket and a number of sports tho... dunno why.

Drinks- Depends on the occasion!

Picture- My friends, family, close people. Cool scenery included!

Movies- I dunno. I like a lot of movies. Most of them aren't cheesy action flicks either.

Band- I get the songs, not the band.

Holiday- Holidays in general.

Cars- I don't have much of an idea on cars... something comfortable I guess. A proton waja looks nice. (national car)

Ever lied to someone- The world is made up of lies.

Ever been in a fist fight- Ah, no. We punch each other, but it's always for fun and not a brawl.

Ever been arrested- Nahh.. I'm a good samaritan.

Shampoo u use- Sunsilk! The black one.

Perfume- I dunno? I don't use perfume...

Shoes u wear- Shoes that are comfortable and (for sports) extremely tough. I wear shoes down very quickly.

What are you scared of- Scary movies, big hairy spiders, lots of different snakes, loud noises, drowning, the sea (swimming in it), embarassing myself in public, death (most people are), losing my friends, losing my pictures, being alone... that kind of thing. =), I'm scared of a lot of things.

my life type friends- Friends that stay together, forgive each other, understand each other, and remember the times they've had with each other. The best of friends.

people I consider my enemies- I don't really have enemies... I dunno if people don't like me though... I seem to be pretty okay with other people

cds I own- CD's are expensive lousy crapz when they are licensed! Unfair. *mumbles and grumbles*

scars on my body- A lot... dumb things I did, fell down countless times, sports injuries...

things I regret- Lots of things.. not acting on something I wanted to really do, being shy, not asking anyone out, not calling someone, being quiet when I wanted to talk, being noisy when silence would have been better... lots of regrets. =)

To everyone: Hahahahahaha~! That's what I've been telling Eileen for 2 years (I think?)! You're not fat dear, just growing. I keep telling you that but you never listen! ^_^, just keep that weight and grow taller~! Akakakakakaka... well, seriously speaking, you aren't fat. =), I've been 70 kilo's for 3 years no matter how I eat tho... -_-" something's wrong with me. Heheheeh~

Ahhhh, exams are here... well, it's gonna be one interesting week... lots of questions to be answered in my head I guess... finally I'm gonna be able to see just how 'tough' the exams are. Keke~

Cheerioz~!