Ha. Hahah. Hahahah. Fuck. I think I'm going insane... or something close to that... I can feel the craptastic insane laughter trying to get out... the nutty grin.. blank stare... gaping mouth... heh... heheh... heheheheheh...

But no, hahah, I'm not snapping. =P

THIS OR THAT

cold/hot:... cold to sleep in..hot showers
blue/red:.. blue
rain/snow:.. snow
give/receive:. receive =P
wool/cotton:...Cotton
rose/daisy:...Roses
chocolate milk/plain milk:plain please
spring/fall:.. spring! boing
history/science:science
math/English: depends
country/rock:..Rock
r&b/rap:.. R & B
coke/pepsi:..Pepsi
cherry coke/vanilla coke: vanilla coke
sleep/eat:....both =P


FRIENDS

who do you see most often: Anyone in school.. by choice it'd be TW and WP and Marvin..

who is your most annoying friend: No idea really. Not really sure...

which friend(s) do you wish you saw more often: ALL of them you numbskull.

who do you email the most these days: I dunno... Szu Hsiao, I guess... =), she doesn't have MSN! >_<

who's the loudest: Next to me, I think it's Marvin...

whos the shyest: Next to me, I think it's Jehan..

who are you jealous of: Oh, lotsa people... I get jealous easily...

who has the best room: Umm... I'd have to say uh... I dunno, WP's cause it's aircon, computered, and roomy.

who do you trust the most: Joanne. Don't ask.

who's your best friend(s): Wey Ping, Teoh Wei, Marvin, Stifflez, Moonie. We don't talk much, but we enjoy company. ^^" That being the case LOTS more...

one(s) you usually miss: I am not sure. I miss spending time with all my friends.. not enough time... too much work.. exams... fuck.


WHICH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS

is most likely to grow up to be a model: Um.. I do not know. Melody's already one.

have you known the longest: Teoh Wei. 11 years and still going damn strong.


WITHIN THE LAST 24 HRS.

had a serious talk: Oh yes... look at the post below and you'll get the idea.

hugged someone: I wish... no, wait, I don't.

gotten along with your parents: They're a happy and caring bunch..

cried: Almost, but no.


DO YOU LIKE TO

give hugs: No one wants to hug me, sadly. I'm not very huggable... all bones >_<...

give back rubs: My mom likes them. No one else has tried.

take walks in the rain: If I have nothing in my pockets that will wear away, not wearing expensive clothing, no shoes (slippers only!), then I enjoy it quite a lot.

watch tv: Most of the time.

do homework: Only if the homework's funny, and as such is more worth doing.

talk on the phone: Yeah... I run up high telephone bills... seriously.

go online: Well yeah, DUH.

do freaky things: I'm eccentric. Does that answer your question?

work out: I play sports... don't think I do anything else...


HAVE YOU EVER

been to a concert: No.

been out of state: Yes.

broken a bone: No, thankfully.

cheated on a test: Numerous and possibly countless times.

met a famous person: Am I not a famous person? No? Then the answer is no.

NOW

where are you: My room... with the computer, yeah that room.

are you wearing any jewelry: No... no one gives me anything like that to wear...

when was the last time you showered: A few hours ago.

what color pants do you have on right now: White with black little stripes at the sides.

what song are you listening to right now: Some song by Nightwish... not loud enough... but it's late...

what is your computer desk made out of: Titanium, you idiots.

what was the last thing you ate: My heart.

what would you really be doing right now: What the hell else than this survey?

who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: All my friends... I dunno whether I mind being single or not...

Well... *sigh* oh well. So that's why. Problem resolved... now comes another one... can't truly be close to her anymore... can't make her boyfriend worry... or other people flap mouths... yeah... maddeningly saddening... that's what life's all about huh..? *sigh* Oh well. Life, oh life... is a fucking bitch at times.

=|... well, I'll still be able to sort of keep progress with her at least, right? It isn't... that bad... I dunno... like who the fuck am I kidding yah? -_-... *sigh*...

It's a sad day today, I guess,
This friendship is now a total mess,
What I wanted to happen, I was too shy to cause,
So what I almost had then, will now always my sad loss.

Well... it was really nice, we're still friends,
That at least is something that never ends,
I still get to watch her grow up, grow old,
Although on her I have lost all hold.

Maybe in two years she'll be alone again,
Feeling angry, sad, alone and in pain,
At least I'll be there, for sure,
And for those hurts try to find a cure.

Her smiles and laughter will still make me happy,
Even though knowing she's with someone else is just crappy,
Life goes on, I shouldn't get trapped in the past,
Just have to see that all friendships will forever last.

No tears have I shed, and neither should they be,
Because out there, someone else might love me,
Maybe this will turn out for the best,
He's a nice guy too, I can peacefully rest.

But for now, I think I'll just think about her,
Before the memories of the days I spent become a blur,
If the world should show that they just do not care,
I promise you, dear girl that I'll still be there..

So long, Kagome-chan...

----------------------------------------------------------------

*snorts in slight disgust* Hmph. Well. None of you will ever see me as open as this in real life, I just realized... so don't ask =_=... whatever that's in here is for viewing, not discussing in any way... except a few very close friends... I guess.. other people's lives aren't really very... discussable. Anyone who tries, who spreads stuff about this.. well, I'm not very nice when I'm very angry...

And so ends my close friendship with one whom I loved, for a time.

I could rant and rave that life's not fair, why the hell should this happen to me... but that's getting damn old in my book, so no.

*sigh*.

*sniff* I made someone very angry. One wrong sentence and friendship's all FUBAR. God knows why in the world she felt so personally about this one word that she used on herself a few times as it is... but, yeah, it is my fault for not thinking through my words carefully enough... as always, overestimated how close I am to people... or overestimated how close people think of me, yeah, that's more right..

*sigh* ... Perhaps someday she might understand. Someday. Maybe it's her boyfriend... maybe? I dunno. Ever since she's been seeing him... ah, might just as always be me... maybe I am too blunt, too honest, too trusting, too fuck ass stupid... I'll never know, will I...? Hah, in a few years I'll forget about this maybe.. I dunno... my memory doesn't serve me very well. It forgets important facts and remembers these... these stupid things all the time... *sigh*.

Well... looking on brighter sides of life, today was a bowling tourney day... didn't really play well, but hell I never play well... got 30th place in a tourney of I think 60 people... that's not so bad... but I coulda gotten better I suppose... =\... I saw Amanda and Sueyi skatin' around in the rink today... hahah... something new, I guess... Sueyi certainly has grown... =P, as tall as Amanda I think... which is saying something.. hahah...

Mm... oh well.. times certainly change... for better or for worse... we have only the will to go on...

Hm hmm... it's been a relaxing and restful day.. didn't do anything really... just chats, games and not much else...

Hm hmm... isn't it just weird the way what you want, you don't get directly, but something or someone else replaces it but is too far away to reach for? Sure, it doesn't happen most of the time... but heck. Man I'm rambling again... -_-"

Oh well... anyway, not much else to do now...

Cheerz~

La la lalala... bleh... my shoulders and feet and fingers are all sore from having lots of physical activities today.. started off with PE... went to Bowling... and just now a good game of basketball... bleh bleh. I think the school players will not be as good as they are here... the players here are... skilled o_o.

Bleh. Oh well... not much to say about today... I think Adi won the elections... don't really care much... form 5's will not really be affected by anything he does... we have SPM to worry about, so demerits and shitz at this point will be quite pointless and will just make us hate this school more. =)...

Mm... I think I'll go sleep now, hahah... tired...

Cheerz~

La la lalala... bleh... my shoulders and feet and fingers are all sore from having lots of physical activities today.. started off with PE... went to Bowling... and just now a good game of basketball... bleh bleh. I think the school players will not be as good as they are here... the players here are... skilled o_o.

Bleh. Oh well... not much to say about today... I think Adi won the elections... don't really care much... form 5's will not really be affected by anything he does... we have SPM to worry about, so demerits and shitz at this point will be quite pointless and will just make us hate this school more. =)...

Mm... I think I'll go sleep now, hahah... tired...

Cheerz~

Blehh.. tiring... >_<...

Homework~

Hahah... today was sort of interesting... I don't mean the voting... hahaha~! You see, I have this friend in Singapore... gal, by the name of Mandy... so we're chatting and chatting and chatting and chatting like sakais... I destroyed my mic in the process, but oh well it was old... then after that got into my head the idea of getting her HP num even tho she's so far away, and then told her mine with the area code... she dialled, received the call, and we were so excited!!! Never knew a phone call could possibly be so exciting... o_O.. but hahah, it was cool... then after that figured out the area code for SG, called back... AND IT GOT THROUGH!!! WOW!!! Exciting shitz I tell you... ahha~ so now I know the voice of my Singaporean pal... =P, now don't ask me about it.

Hm hmm... other than that, it's been a dull day... life suddenly jumps about like it has ants in it's pants doesn't it? =P... just yesterday was entertaining Mandy with my 'wondrous' voice... -_-" Bleh, dunno how she can find anything funny about it, bleh. Oh well... was fun, so it's good... muahah~

Oh well.. I'm tired. =P, nite nite everyone~

Cheerz!

Mmm.. well.. it was a tiring week... and it's only Tuesday damnit -_-" !!! So anyway.. I think I sorta overreacted awhile ago... or not? I dunno... mm... well... sorta over that as it is... mm... it still does make me think alot... but then again, when ever have I never thought alot, I wonder? o_O...

So anyway... school, another dull day slags by... tomorrow will at least bring some laughter, with Science. Hehe... budden they joined back the classes AGAIN... cacat man... noisy la, that's the only thing... stuffy... yeeesh... oh well..

Back to the old life... cheerz.

Mm.. bleh. Now do I realize that she has loved him for a long time already.. say a month or more maybe... *sigh*, love is blind, and so was I. Oh well... maybe should've popped the question...? Or maybe that wouldn't have mattered...? Ah, the regrets, the questions... ugh. Hope he treats her as well as I would..

Wondering what else the future holds...

Welll.. she won't be mine anymore, I guess.. wishing her the best.. hope she's happy with her decision, yeah? =|... ah well.. it'll sink in deep after awhile I guess... just happy for her now.. numb to everything else...

Mm.. well... I think that's all.. heh. Life goes on again..

Mm.. well... it's been a strange and sort of depressing/disappointing kinda week... here I am now, Saturday morning 2AM, after basketball (I got home at 1.30!), typing..

So umm... yeah, big highlight are my almost 200 pictures developed for moral project, IU, New Zealand... hahah... Eileen will go mad at this... well I haven't scanned them dear... that's wayyyy too many... bleh. My IU pics are in high demand o_O..

Mm... time table for everyone changed AGAIN... wee. Ugh... AND both languages for Sci is now in one damn class again... haih. Really really not good... *sigh*. Why? Well, the BM and Eng one is of course different, has different texts, different words etc etc... bleh... '5 months only' my arse... pfft.

So mm... had a fire drill today... when it was raining... which was really stupid... 'AHHHHHH THE SCHOOL'S ON FIRE EVEN THOUGH IT'S RAINING!! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!! RUNNNN!!' Bleh. And guess what - this is so funny - she (Madzura) wants us to CLOSE THE WINDOWS before we come down... haha! Like I give half a shit about closing windows when the building's on fire... and LEAVE MY PERSONAL POSSESSIONS IN CLASS!? No fooking way kiddo... if they're close to hand I'll pick them up and run like a mad man... meh. And she tells us we're a total failure. We don't take it seriously. HAH. I don't care. Set a damn fire in the school, see how fast we really run.

Mm... on a more personal thing, she now has a boyfriend.. well, maybe.. tomorrow, she will say yes to the guy.. and see how it goes I guess... =\... I'm not all that sad about it though, didn't really do much about it.. and I'm a pretty boring guy anyway.. =|... he's a nice, caring guy.. spends lots of time with her... cares for her... heh.. well I think it's one of the best things for her... she's happy, so I don't mind...

Mm... what else... oh yeah, there was a debate today.. get details from other people, I lazy to type.. hahah...

Welll.. here I am, still wondering about stuff like life, the future, my past, everything... haha.. oh well, we've come a long way haven't we...? I'll really miss these carefree times..

Cheerz..

Hey hey everyone.. I'm in school now bleh -_-". Jehan's beside me being his usual weird-ass self... oh well. I'm bored.

Sooooo anyway.. start of school, hoo-ha, boring wakeup hell -_-"... anywayyyy, got pepper spray in my right, then left eye.. which sucked like hell... well, I had some pepper spray on my fingers, so when I rubbed my eye, it got peppered, weee.. then I washed my hands, and then I rubbed my eyes, then my LEFT one got it! Weeee~! Pepper spray is fun... hehe.

So anyway, yay, my pink little gift was accepted...! Yay.. hehe, she was so adamant about not receiving gifts -_-"... but I wanted to give it to her.. so yeah, she accepted it ^_^... and then... she said it was really nice! XD~! =P.. pink little heart shaped thing.. yay.. ^_^ told my mom pink was better. Weeeee~!

So anyway, IU pics and stuff should be tomorrow or Thursday.. wee yeah? ^_^.

Cheerz!

Mehh.. another day after today and poof, there go the holidays... and I haven't done many of my projects, woo hoo! =). Oh well.. maybe there'll be a last minute crazy period, but I doubt it.. oh well, haha, I don't care really...

Oh well... holidays were quite interesting... though I think there was just too much work given to make it truly enjoyable.. yeah yeah, those teachers will knowingly say "Haha, just wait and see... next time will be worse than this" but that's NEXT TIME! Not noww! >_< Oh well...

Weeee, this is just interesting.

10 Years Ago, I... was seven!
1. Was really small! =P
2. Was a guy without glasses.
3. Didn't really know about anything.
4. Wasn't aware of much that went on in the world.

5 Years Ago, I... was 12!
1. Got my first crush, hehe...
2. Wondered about life, for the first time.
3. Did my first poem on that crush, hehe.. (a long one too!)
4. Got into SSC with Teoh Wei, the only face I recognized.

3 Years Ago, I... was 14! (form 2)
1. Was more or less a dork.
2. Started to write more and more about this new gal that I liked..
3. Loved to spend time sitting and enjoying the breeze (for around 4 hours on end, hahah)
4. Was sorta hooked on to soccer, and I had lots of stamina!

2 Years Ago, I... was in form 3~ (15)
1. Went through the best school year of my life so far.
2. Knew everyone from form 1 till 5, and had some friends in junior too. =)
3. Had fun learning, and looked forward to school many, many times.
4. Started playing basketball, though I was terrible. (still am!)
5. Became a grandfather a quite a few times, =)

A Year Ago, I... was in form 4
1. Thought most of the subjects hellish
2. Spent a year sitting next to my dearest now... it was nice..
3. Vowed never to go for more than 1 glass of alcohol, ever.
4. Made friends with lots of teachers, ahah, which is nice. =)
5. Was pestered about what to do for my future.

So Far This Year, I...
1. Have went through some really enjoyable times.
2. Started to wonder about enjoying school.
3. Became really sensitive and wondered a lot about someone... =)
4. Wish that life wouldn't be so hard.

Yesterday, I....
1. Tried to do my projects, and had fun at night in basketball.
2. Didn't really do much else.

Today, I ....
1. Went blogging, which is now.
2. Wondered what will tomorrow hold.
3. Wondered whether I could actually do my projects.
4. Wished the holidays were longer.

Tomorrow I...
1. Will probably worry alot, but hell.
2. Will wonder how school will be again.
3. Will see if I actually finish my projects, though I doubt it.
4. Will see what else is there to do.

And in 10 years time I intend to...
1. Be successful, but that has a low chance of success, methinks.
2. Try and keep all my old friendships intact. Wuv' my friends!
3. Have a relationship with someone really special... hehe... we'll see hmm?
4. Have at least 10 photo albums of EVERY PICTURE I have taken. =), I already have 4 anyway.

Weeeeeee.. I'm home... ^_^... NZ was cold.. wayyy too cold for me... I'm not a cold person... other than during sleep.. hehe.. back to the land of the heat, the dirt, and the mosquitoes I guess... hehe, first thing I did when I reached home was call someone ^^... she was too tired anyway... oh well. =)

Anyway... the flights took around 10 hours, so it was hell in the plane just sitting there, playing games or watching movies... I must've played Bejeweled a dozen times. Ugh. The airplane food isn't really that bad, but it is bad at the same time too... no idea how to explain that..

Weee. First day was cold. We went to this rental place, got two cars (3 families!)... went to the resort, 5 star (yay!) which is right beside a lake... weee, nice view but freaking cold.. ughhh... >_<. Can't really type much now, too tired. =P

Mm... sum it all up... just zoomed around Rotorua, saw some geysers, mud pools, mostly scenery, played a few games (Zorb, Jon went on some Swoop thingamajigger, some other things I don't remember) and the rest was mostly shopping... didn't even get enough souveniers for everyone, sadly. =\. So that was my holiday. Most of the time it was spent wondering about the projects, but hell, I don't really care anymore.. =P

So... cheerz eh? ^^...