In our lives we meet people who we will cherish for the rest of our lives. We will hang out with these people, talk with them, laugh with them, do nothing with them. In time however, we find that we slowly move away from them, as we become more and more absorbed with our own lives. Of course, we always say we'll be keeping in touch, we'll make sure we do stuff together still, but sometimes it really is very hard to find time to do anything outside. College isn't always as easy as it sounds, and some people really do struggle with their work.

Always we put the blame on something so that we can explain why something happens, or why something should change. Sometimes though, we may be focusing just a little too much on that something, and as such become blinded to any other kind of reason. Perhaps we do not know all the reasons, but we could at least allow for some sort of explanation to be given to explain why there are other reasons. It really isn't very good to just stick to one problem and keep banging on it without opening our minds to other possible reasons. Discussing it directly with the person involved would be a very good idea to solve the problem, instead of discussing it amongst people who just aren't in the same situation as the person involved. How would you know if his work was hard or not? Do you know everything the person does? The kind of stuff he has to put up with? Are you sure about the way he spends his time? There are lots of things a person could do in his or her free time.

There are times of course, many times, when the person involved really does have a problem. This should be brought up immediately in a direct, yet non-accusatory tone. In doing so, you do not put the person on the defensive of anything, and as such will be able to reason with him on certain things. One should always listen to the other side of the story before jumping to conclusions. One should always have a suggestion, not a demand, ready to be explained to that person so that he or she will be able to think about it. One should never, ever jump to conclusions without listening to all the facts, despite what one sees, feels, or hears about. This sort of behaviour is the root of all ignorant prejudice and problems.

Talking it out and listening, actually listening, to the other side is a thousand times more effective than thrusting an opinion or idea to someone and just hearing what their reply is. There is a very, very big difference between hearing and listening to someone. Think about what you listen to, and see if there is any fault in your own way of thinking. Not everyone is right. The person involved might not be right, and you yourself might not be right either. To keep an open mind is a great asset in the world of prejudice and discrimination.

Of course, to the person involved there is always the possibility where 'if everyone disagrees with you, you may want to disagree with yourself'. Taking this into account, one must always remember that it is not easy at all for someone to believe that he is wrong, especially when everyone else does not really understand what goes on in the person's life. The person will be all defensive when he finds out that you did not bother to ask why he was busy. He would be angry that you did not believe what he said, even though it could be true. There are times when one's prejudice and focus on the problem causes that person to say things which are totally wrong. This in turn causes the person involved to be very, very angry. How could you be that person's friend if you do not believe in what he says? He believes what you say all the time. His faith in you is so strong that if you truly needed him, he would be there in a trice. But what happens, do you think, when you do not have faith in him? What happens when you don't believe what he says? What happens when your own over-focused self spurns the things he says, believing that your side of the story is always better? Do you think for one second that you are 100% right in saying something? Do you think that your friend won't be hurt when you say things like that? Do you think that he thinks it's just a joke? Are you sure that you meant it as a joke?

There are times when friends hurt other friends. Most of the time this is unintentional. However, to the person that was hurt, it would not seem so unintentional when taken into context. An offhand remark which was denied but still said would cause the person that was hurt to think that what you said was intentional, that you truly believed that your side was the right one, even though the person hurt knows that it is not. Sometimes it becomes really very hard for the person not to be angry at what you say, because what you said involved someone or something that was very close to the person's heart. Would you not be angry if that person insulted something you held dear? I think not.

As we grow older, our lives become more and more filled up with shit to do. This is natural. As I said earlier, we will focus more and more on our own lives as more and more demands on us pile up. Sometimes I wish I could be back in my high school days, because those were the days when I did not have assignments which took hours to finish, those were the days when studying was something I did to make myself sleepy, those were the days when I could just sit for hours on a bench without a worry in the world. Those days are long gone though. Sometimes a person really is too tired. Three hours of college may not seem like much compared to the eight hours we spend in school, but it somehow is more draining than school, probably because of the density of knowledge taught at college. It is a wholly different world from high school because assignments take much longer than what homework took when you were in high school. It's not easy to change how one thinks, ever.

Still, it is agreed that someone who is dedicated to keeping friendships and relationships together should of course try to balance things out. Admittedly I spend more time on the PC than with friends, but this could also be due to external factors. My parents, for example, frown upon me going out all the time. Sure, things may not be happening every day, but even three times a week outside, they start giving me the dark looks everyone is familiar with. How am I supposed to put up with that? I would certainly like to go out more since I have the time, but if my parents don't give me money or the car to do so, what the hell am I to do? I try to limit the number of times I stay out, since my parents don't really like it. Still, no matter what I do I can't please everyone. I only have 7 days in a week, which I have to divide between college (assignments mostly, fuck studying.), my family (sunday gathering, to "keep us close"), myself (I need down time to think.), my lady (only 1 day a week, but it's still too much for some people), my friends (who aren't as attached to any of the abovementioned things). I tried to keep up with everything, but apparently the current system just isn't good enough.

So. This is my life. And now I'm going to have to change it. It would be easy for you to suggest what I could do to make things balance out, but I am a person. People are DIFFERENT from one another. I don't feel as energetic about much as another person. You may think I'm weird for being tired so early, but that is the way I am, even though I may stay up till 4 playing video games. It's all about the interest in the things we do. I may like something, but you may not. I can't change that.

I always laugh when I hear or read that it's good to 'be yourself'. You go out on a date, and people say 'just be yourself'. Everyone prides themselves on 'being special', or 'being you', or 'doing things your own way', or 'living life your way'. I fucking laugh when I hear that. Nobody gives a flying fuck that you are who you are. Everyone expects SOMEthing from another person, and that something means something common, something similar to them. Some form of characteristic, a major one at that, which will enable them to click with you. Without it, you're cast out of the group. We all scorn people from outside our group because we don't understand what they believe in. We don't give a fuck about them because they're 'different'. Different in skin, different in lifestyle, different in thinking. No one gives a shit that you are special. People only care about people who are like them.

Sometimes -- many times really -- I wonder what do people think about. I wonder whether their thought patterns are like mine. I wonder whether they know that it's the little things in life that really count, not just the big things. I wonder whether they believe and act on that thought. I wonder if they actually care about the small things, whether they think about it, whether they do stuff like that, whether they really, really appreciate the small things. Everyone can agree that 'the small things in life count'. But which one of us truly does small things like that? Which one of us truly believes in the small things? We may say we do, but do we? As they say, only god knows. Most of us just focus on the big things, the things that grab everyone's attention. In looking at that big thing, we tend to forget about the small things happening in the background. How is that fair? Even small things can be big things in the long run. Do you know the small things that make every relationship stronger? Do you know what are the small things you could do to make someone love you all the more? Do you practice them? Or would you concentrate more on the big things, more on the things that draw the most attention? The small things sometimes are the hardest things to do, they are the things which involve hard work and dedication to what you believe in. The big things are big because of the perceived effort put into them. Would you truly bother about the small things when big things are available?

And so goes my rants for today.