A Matter of Choice:
I thought so hard about what they mean to me,
And I thought so long about what they could be,
Faced with choice, I am torn by it's complexity,
My mind becomes slow, and confused, robbed of brevity.

Must I make a choice between who I like?
A thousand times harder it is than choosing a bike,
A heart divided into two, threes, fours,
My care for them flowing through open doors.

The first, a girl whom I loved at first sight,
Making my day shine, like a wonderful light,
Giving me inspiration, giving me many a rhyme,
But alas, it has been such a long, long time...

Not many a word was said to each other,
And now I wonder, whether I should bother,
Knowing the answer would only come from inside,
I wished and wished that I could go hide.

The second, a girl whom I didn't know well then,
But now we're close, 'till who knows where or when,
Knowing her better now, alot better than just friends,
We've tried helping each other through the bumps and the bends.

Hanging out with her has caused a stir,
As what she feels for me is more than a blur,
I am confused, and a little angry,
Does she think of me as friend, trophy, or future family?

A third I say, and you may be shocked,
But feelings really take a lot to be blocked,
She's nice, caring, but has a mean side to look out for,
She could, if she wanted to, make your face meet the floor.

I do not think she likes me, heck, none of the others do,
But I am still assaulted by the big question of: 'Who?'
I like them almost equally, each of them special in a way,
*sigh* I do not know if an answer will come one day.

Making a choice might never be an easy freedom,
It takes time, it takes patience, it takes much wisdom,
Because choosing the wrong one could lead to much sadness,
As all involved might know, leave, and drive one to madness.

Pestered by friends who think they know all,
I resist and hide behind my mental wall,
Wishing it could be easier, wishing with all my voice,
The reality of it is: It is a matter of MY choice.

-- Leon
The 28th of Dec, 2003.



*sigh* And life goes on. We are faced by choices each and every day, each and every minute of our lives. Turn left, or right? Go here, or there? Almost certainly we are faced by choices which have such consequences that we wish we could just go back, go back to the times we had as children. Best thing to do is not want to go back, but to get it over with. Fear of the future is what holds us, binds us to the past sometimes. *sigh*.